Years ago, while teaching 8th grade math, we were learning about line plots and using a graphing calculator to create our graphs. We had just entered in our data into our tables on the calculator. "The next step," I told the class, "is to tell our calculator which field to pull the data. So we have to tell it table A or table B." Right then, a very sweet boy in my class pulled the calculator to his mouth and into the machine he said, "Table A!" I had never laughed so hard in class as I did that day!!
Students were asked to pick a person from a minority group to research for their Language Arts project. One student asked if he could do Babe Ruth. Then he said, "He was black wasn't he?"
I was teaching about cells in the classroom one day and still today this is one of my most funnier moments of teaching. (Teacher) can anybody tell me some type of cells? (Student) There are white blood cells? (Teacher) Can anybody tell me what are white blood cells? (Jasmine) I know Mr. Saunders......White Blood Cells are what white people have. (Teacher) Well Jasmine eveyone have white blood cells. (Jasmine) No Mr. Saunders, my mother told me that white people have white blood cells and black people have black blood cells.
I was telling my students that we would not grade their journals on content; for example, "If B. writes that his favorite music is gangsta' rap, I won't grade him down because I don't happen to like rap." A scrawny blonde boy in a church camp tee-shirt looked up at me and deadpanned, "That's pimp, yo." I have to admit, I started laughing too hard to reprimand him for saying pimp in class.
Last year, our Language Arts classes were asked to teach a program called "Know the Law," developed as a deterant for wayward behavior in teenagers. During our discussion of the section on unlawful and underage physical abuse, I must have become very stern about the laws regarding sex and intent, because one of my students raised his hand, and in the most serious voice asked,"Well, when can I have sex?"
A good friend of mine, a special ed teacher, sent one of his "star" students to the library for a slide projector. The child asked the librarian for a "slide de-jector". Kinda makes sense, if you think about it...
We were discussing "adaptation" with 6th grade. I defined adaptation as a permanent physical or behavioral change for survival. One kid raised his hand and asked if that was like puberty. The class almost fell out of their chairs they were giggling so much :)
We were discussing human anatomy in 7th grade science when the question of how babies in utero get nutrients came up. One kid rattled off every single part of the female reproductive system and announced to the class that he is a genius at sex ed.
I overheard a student asking another teacher, "Don't all teachers have machines in their heads?"
While teaching a unit on Latin America, we were discussing South America. One student raised his hand and was completely serious when he said "I've been to South America." I was rather shocked and said "Really, what part?" He replied "My aunt lives in Alabama and we go see her sometimes" I had to bite my lip to contain my laughter. The look on my other student's faces was priceless!
As an elementary counselor, a kindergarten class was completing coloring activity to go along with Red Ribbon Week activities. Since it was October, most of the students were able to write their names on the the paper, but I had noticed a new little boy in the class. As I made my way over to him, I asked if the needed help writing his name. "Yes. I don't know how because that B*!@% sent me home when I asked her to wipe my butt again!"
As a former Language Arts teacher, I was always encouraging my students to "up" their vocabulary. The funniest vocabulary effort involved a student who shared my love of shoes. One day, as I was moving about the room spot reading essays, this student checked out my new shoes and said, "You know Mrs. Morrow, I have discovered that we are a shoe fetish!" Gotta love the effort!
In the spelling counts department: The question on the test was, "Why did new stone age people put fences around their villages?" Leaving a very important "n" out of a word, a student's answer was, "New stone age people put FECES around their villages to keep enemies out." I circled the word, gave her full credit and wrote, "WORKS FOR ME!!!
From one of my ballet students: ‘You should come up with a dance based on Donkey Kong,lots of arms in first.'
One of my 6th grade students was drawing a self portrait and exclaimed, ‘My hands look like udders!'
While holding a toothpick one of my students said, ‘looks like I got the short end of the stick.'
One of my students just asked me how things where in the olden days...
One of my students swore me down that the capital of the USA is Decatur...clearly I have work to do.
Just had one of my students interrupt my group session to ask me if I had a weave in my head.
One of my students was texting in class, dropped his phone and it broke. It's hard not to laugh.