Classroom Chuckles

Just before spring break, we were talking about what students would be doing with their time off. One student asked about my plans. Thinking how wonderful naps sounded, I replied, "You know, the great thing about getting old is how exciting your bed becomes." It took ten minutes to get the class settled.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010 11:53 AM

To break the ice the first night in my Computer Applications class, we had a "pun" session. But the students didn't want to stop....so I told them to quit so we could get to work or I'll would have the "pun"ish them!

Monday, January 11, 2010 12:14 PM

I teach first grade and during a unit on Civil Rights I was explaining how Cesar Chavez led a boycott. One of my kids asked if that meant that Rosa Parks led a "girlcott."

Sunday, January 10, 2010 7:29 PM

My class of 5th grade students arrived back in the classroom ten minutes early after a morning out of class period. I had been using this time to prepare for the afternoon and was not quite finished. As the students settled in at their desks I decided to give them these ten minutes as free time while I completed my plans. Standing in front of the classroom, I informed the students that they had returned early and could buzz amongst themselves for ten minutes. In unison, my entire class of 5th graders began making a buzzing sound.

Saturday, January 09, 2010 11:39 AM

I just told my students: "now remember what my rules are" In unison they said, "don't annoy you!"

Friday, January 08, 2010 4:16 PM

I was teaching my students about the solar system. When I asked my students "what is the milky way?" One of my students raise her hand and said "isn't it a candy bar?"

Friday, January 08, 2010 12:51 PM

Yesterday, one of my second grade males students was drawing a picture of his mother with a mustache. His neighbor told him quite loudly that "moms don't have hair under their lip." Another little boy at the opposite end of the class yelled: "Mine does but she rips it out!" I was smiling and trying to explain that depending on their hair color, women could have a few little hairs on their lip when a little girl interrupted me and said: "My dad says that my mom's legs are like poodles so she rips them out too!"

Thursday, January 07, 2010 6:35 PM

I once had a class of 9 years olds, to whom I was trying to explain the basics of portraiture. I started by explaining how a head was more egg shaped and not round....when one bright spark put their hand up, pointed at this short extremely plump little boy, and said "But, Miss. Sweeney his is!"

Thursday, January 07, 2010 6:29 PM

Last year at a public school where I was teaching, a kindergarten teacher told me that a child in her class asked if she could bring in her father for show and tell. The teacher said certainly she could and did not think a think about it. The next morning bright and early, the child showed up at school with her mother and a big cart with a large urn on it. The teacher asked the child what it was and the child replied that it was her father and she had said the previous day that it would be OK to bring him for show and tell. The mother then explained that it was the father's ashes because he had passed away a few years previously. The teacher and the administration at the school were floored and could not figure out the proper way to respond.

Thursday, January 07, 2010 6:25 PM

3rd grader to teacher: "How do you make Lady Gaga cry?"..."Poke her face"

Thursday, January 07, 2010 11:05 AM

I asked my students what they like to wear on chilly days? One student's response was 'wear my snuggie.'

Wednesday, January 06, 2010 12:56 PM

I really want to teach logic to my high school students. I have yet to find a book that breaks it down enough for them.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 10:33 PM

Today I realize how great of a teacher I am as one of my students pointed to California on a map and said, 'Look, it's Long Island!'

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 6:27 PM

My students are telling me buttocks is a compound word...

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 6:27 PM

I had a preschooler once that called it a commode control (remote control)

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 6:27 PM

It's finals week. My students are about to flood the office. Punch me in the face.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 5:55 PM

“Q. How many college students does it take to change a lightbulb? A. I dunno, I forgot my calculator at home.”

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 5:52 PM

“Students outside my office arguing loudly about who is a better parent: Jon or Kate. The future is not looking so good.”

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 5:50 PM

“Farmville players outnumbered real farmers in the US by a ratio of 60 to 1. - What I learned from my students' final projects.”

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 5:49 PM

Am I wrong for thinking one of my students looks like Mr. Peanut with down syndrome?

Monday, January 04, 2010 3:03 PM